Disturbance in the Force

I keep listening to music at night and crying because otherwise, I can't let out the stress. I can't stand silence when I'm hurt but I also need to tune out reality when I'm in my feels. So I listen to music that I know I will enjoy, it's like I am bonding with it and am being consoled by it. 

Speaking of consolation.

I watched Midsommar today and there was a scene: It was so nerve-wracking the way the women clung to Dani and were wailing with her, it hurt my head so much and Dani's voice is just so hoarse it was stressing me out listening to her cry. I hated the ending but in a way I get it, it seems like Dani got her "revenge" because Chris cheated on her and the girl did look underage, maybe she wasn't I don't know. Either way, I didn't get why the whole "crush" thing was in there, I am assuming it's to get rid of the last person Dani knew before coming to this cult for more than just being emotionally neglectful. 

But to be honest, how could Chris leave her even if he did, she was grieving her whole family's death, he kind of bit the bullet there. Also, at fault is this Swedish guy, I don't remember his name, he was weird from the beginning, way too touchy and obsessive. At first, I thought the birthday gift for Dani was sweet but then he sketched her secretly at the dinner table when she was crowned May queen, too. It would make sense if he was seen sketching regularly but he only ever sketched her. Or inanimate objects. It makes me sick how he knew what would happen and roped them into his bullshit only to get "sacrificed". Good riddance to be honest.

I also don't understand what is up with the disabled child getting worshipped, why do they treat him like a deity? Father Od said something like "he isn't clouded by normalcy" or something. The only male I liked/ tolerated was Josh and he fucking died. 

They smacked him over the head with something heavy and it was so vomit-inducing, to be honest. But I don't get how he thought he'd be safe if this shithole cult to begin with, also how the fuck did the cult member creep up on him like that? I am going to say cult because that's what it is. Then another guy I don't remember his name, he was Connie's fiancée, his death was so fucking cruel. Probably the worst out of all. I am not going to describe it to you though. 

Despite what happened in the movie I am not as disturbed as I thought I would, like as an afterthought, usually I can't function after watching something like that. But I am mentally sound and not as paranoid as I would be.