Disturbance in the Force

I keep listening to music at night and crying because otherwise, I can't let out the stress. I can't stand silence when I'm hurt but I also need to tune out reality when I'm in my feels. So I listen to music that I know I will enjoy, it's like I am bonding with it and am being consoled by it. 

Speaking of consolation.

I watched Midsommar today and there was a scene: It was so nerve-wracking the way the women clung to Dani and were wailing with her, it hurt my head so much and Dani's voice is just so hoarse it was stressing me out listening to her cry. I hated the ending but in a way I get it, it seems like Dani got her "revenge" because Chris cheated on her and the girl did look underage, maybe she wasn't I don't know. Either way, I didn't get why the whole "crush" thing was in there, I am assuming it's to get rid of the last person Dani knew before coming to this cult for more than just being emotionally neglectful. 

But to be honest, how could Chris leave her even if he did, she was grieving her whole family's death, he kind of bit the bullet there. Also, at fault is this Swedish guy, I don't remember his name, he was weird from the beginning, way too touchy and obsessive. At first, I thought the birthday gift for Dani was sweet but then he sketched her secretly at the dinner table when she was crowned May queen, too. It would make sense if he was seen sketching regularly but he only ever sketched her. Or inanimate objects. It makes me sick how he knew what would happen and roped them into his bullshit only to get "sacrificed". Good riddance to be honest.

I also don't understand what is up with the disabled child getting worshipped, why do they treat him like a deity? Father Od said something like "he isn't clouded by normalcy" or something. The only male I liked/ tolerated was Josh and he fucking died. 

They smacked him over the head with something heavy and it was so vomit-inducing, to be honest. But I don't get how he thought he'd be safe if this shithole cult to begin with, also how the fuck did the cult member creep up on him like that? I am going to say cult because that's what it is. Then another guy I don't remember his name, he was Connie's fiancée, his death was so fucking cruel. Probably the worst out of all. I am not going to describe it to you though. 

Despite what happened in the movie I am not as disturbed as I thought I would, like as an afterthought, usually I can't function after watching something like that. But I am mentally sound and not as paranoid as I would be.

Valley of the Dolls

Jennifer, Annie & Neely    

There is Annie, a beautiful young lady from the outskirts of New York City. It takes place in 1965, an interesting time, TV and radio are popular and new. She is a typical country girl, earnest, hardworking and dedicated. She goes to the city to get a job, her mother is unwell, and her aunt is too old for any labor. 

She is the protagonist.

She gets a job as an assistant for an entertainment company that trains and broadcasts musicians and actors on broadway. She is being greeted rather unconventionally, catches the eye of a handsome and gentlemanly agent named Lyon that works for an aspiring singer named Neely O'Hara, and is being thrust into the world of work rather rushedly.

Overall the movie was quite boring at times, with unnecessary drama stirred up between the understudy Neely and a senior actress/singer Helen Lawson. 

Jennifer is a beautiful lady but in her words, she is "talentless besides her body", seemingly a colleague or friend of Neely and Annie. Relationships form, Jennifer's lover being another rising singer named Tony, who later becomes senile at the age of 30 due to a genetic mental disease. Jennifer tries her best to afford his sanatorium, working as a sort of sex worker and in "french art films" thinly veiled pornography. 

She grows sick of the occupation and quits, she becomes hospitalized and diagnosed with breast cancer. Her husband Tony has forgotten her, his mental illness rapidly worsening. After ending a call with her mother who only contacts her for money she commits suicide by overdosing due to sadness and hopelessness.

What I found strange is that neither Neely nor Annie or Lyon were seen or shown mourning for her death whatsoever. Annie was interviewed by Paparazzi but she seemed rather overwhelmed by the question than the fact someone she was close with killed herself. She was the last one to see her alive after all. Therefore I believe Annie is rather cold and unsympathetic. As is Lyon, who, while leading Annie on kissed Neely, who initiated it, but he did not resist whatsoever and even laughed it off.

Neely becomes famous throughout the span of the movie, and quickly becomes nasty-mouthed and rude due to stress and drug and alcohol abuse, she becomes addicted to "dolls" which keep her awake and functioning for movie roles and such.

Neely was put into a sanatorium after catching her second husband cheating on her. She overdoses and wakes up in the hospital, she reluctantly recovers and has what seems to be a redemption arc before she reverts to her arrogant and irritable self. When she pushes everyone away, including her agent Lyon, she turns back to abusing "dolls" and wanders the streets at night drugged up and drunk. She is last seen weeping at a closed theater that was supposed to host her show, which she missed due to her angry fit.

Annie leaves the city and rejoins her aunt, shortly after Lyon comes to find her. The wounds of her mother's death are still fresh and the memory of having been denied marriage the first time leads to her rejecting Lyon's proposal. The last scene is spent showing Annie taking a walk in the woods, playing in the snow. 

Now, that movie was a blur, to be honest, it was so boring to watch simply because I refused to look at the screen whenever one of the idiotic characters did another stupid mistake. I only felt sympathy for Jennifer, Neely's first ex-husband, and Tony.

I will rate it a 5/10. 

Annoying characters, disorienting pacing, uninteresting storyline, anticlimactic and meaningless ending. The reason I didn't give it a lower rating is because the visuals were stunning nonetheless and the acting was formidable.